Ode to the Woman Crossing the Street

Saturday, January 11, 2020, somewhere near Penn Station. I want a kind of love that makes me shout from the streets of New York City. The kind that makes other people talk because I’m yelling something like, “Screw you.” I want a kind of love that forces you to “take your bags and get out,” […]


Sometimes, when I walk down the stairs, I forget how. Staring at the descending steps I got lost in their rise and run, my eyes sloping down their carpet patterns. I’ve twisted my ankle on stairs before?—I’ve done worse, too, but twisting an ankle really hurts. So stairs always give me panic, the tension of […]

Town of Idiots

Inspired by Welcome to Night Vale. I live in a town of idiots. I’ve been studying them diligently throughout my work, even when I was an apprentice. I’ve seen these people, their families, their insides, how their minds work, and I’ve decided there’s no better explanation for this entire community.  Inside 198 Grand Ave, the […]

Panel Discussion to Follow

The Museum of Underappreciated, Retroactive, Depictive, and Enduring Renderings is honored to be the first home for installation of this entire exhibition. The artist, described as a “pathological painter” by his critics, captures life in his art unlike any other contemporary. On behalf of the Museum I welcome everyone to the panel discussion about the […]

Modern Day Glitch

“Yeah, okay, Wikihow. Teach me ‘How to Make Up Your Own Star Constellation’.” I lean forward in anticipation, waiting to be the next great astronomer of our time, right from the comfort of my Android. In the overcrowded cafeteria, the page loads and loads and loads, and while I plan my speech for when NASA inevitably […]


What if time was a buffet? Like what if you could pick what you wanted to experience at that time, but it was still linear. Like you have to experience everything but what if in between stints of boredom or loneliness you could experience just a few minutes of something else from your life. And […]


I’m pretty sure he—or she—or just it—is on to me. It’s waiting, lurking. White and red— always there in the background. It’s always there when you least expected it– or I guess most expect it but least want it. Addictive, no doubt. But there’s no Sgt. General’s warning; where would you even put it? No, […]


It was the kind of short-cut no one wanted: an extra four hours driving through the set for some kind of impending-doom scene, like Thelma and Louise but without all the symbolism. A cliffside only inches from my door and the sky only getting darker. And no cell service. Not that it mattered in 2006. […]


In darkness In darkness drag your finger across the sky. Tell me why each shape has its curve, each star should deserve to shine. Show me signs, tell me stories, fames & glories, of those before. Give me lore. Be my own Galileo, find a new Orion trio, find a new mystery. Write your history […]


There is so much nothing,                     I see the curve.                   Small peaks crumble                       in its wake, the slight                      fumble of side diamonds                                 on the golden band                                       of the Milky Way.                                       This ring, crafted &                                                 pieced together                                                        by tweezers                                                  that had the guts                                                   to do it. & there                                           I stand, a mere speck                                                    on the surface,                                            blessed […]


If everyone reading this gave $3, we could keep Wikipedia thriving for years to come. We show other charities love– so why don’t we show Wikipedia some? It’s a strange place to be when people would rather spend $3 on coffee than have all knowledge in human existence & possibly even beyond in their hands. […]

Move Too Fast

Inspired by Watsky’s “Welcome to the Family” Hi, it’s nice to meet you knowing one day I’ll greet you with some kind of secret handshake or a gaze so you know what I’m thinking. I mean, I’m just wondering: What’s your favorite color? Your favorite phase of the moon? Which photoalbum of us would you […]


They say a good song is poetry to a beat, but what if poetry, is just a good song without a beat? Because it’s doesn’t matter if the rhythm is all wrong or all right because it’s all all right in the end. It’s just the fact that I can repeat myself and it means […]

Big Brother

Big brother, big deal, I’ll tell you how to do it: You start honest. You build up the trust of everyone in the house then bust all alliances down. Who’s to judge the one who gets in no one’s business? On the ground floor, there’s no one to finish you off if you’ve never started anything with […]


It started with space laxatives. And with those, anything is possible– but less is probable– since they will never time travel. Everything in the garage glows, Because, you know, that’s the way the news goes. He’ll need the weed wacker because those weeds are wack, yo, But if they get too wack, just go to […]

How Not To Write a Story

“Boom. “Do not indent the first paragraph. Also, be sure to have an onomatopoeia to start, as well as interminable and literary jargon words to make sure that you audience knows you’re smart. And if the same person is talking through more than one paragraph, don’t put an end quote at the end of the […]

Writer’s Block

Writer’s block is the worst. I want to write garbage, but I can’t because I know I’m better than that. And anything else just hurts, like it’s physically impossible for any other word to end up on the page. And it leaves me in some kind of inverse rage where I’m not exactly mad that I can’t […]

World War 3

I have a question: Is a hotdog a sandwich? Now. without the intention Of starting WW3, Let’s just see the arguments. For starters, what makes a sandwich A sandwich? I’ve heard every kind of pitch, But the general idea is this: Something between two slices of bread. It’s a filling that keeps you fed, But […]


My people, let me preach. The Watcher is good, The Watcher is great, The Watcher provides, The Watcher keeps us safe.   Our children will no longer play in sand Indoors where there is no sand at hand. They will no longer be left alone on our own land And they can be scolded for […]


Unpopular opinion: I want to work at Buzzfeed. I want to write the articles you see, like: Trump thinks Puerto Rico Death Toll is a Conspiracy. The only 18 moments from the Emmys that you need to see. This is the Most Epic Scenic Road Trip You Can Take from New York To Toronto. The […]