My people, let me preach.

The Watcher is good,

The Watcher is great,

The Watcher provides,

The Watcher keeps us safe.

 

Our children will no longer play in sand

Indoors where there is no sand at hand.

They will no longer be left alone on our own land

And they can be scolded for “Dino Smashing” a doll house,

And they will no longer die from loss of passion in a time out.

We can now hear our children from the distance

Of our hot tubs and help them at our soonest convenience.

And we can now go much more far

As our children will no longer stick to our hands

When we are driving a car.

 

The Watcher is good,

The Watcher is great,

The Watcher provides,

The Watcher keeps us safe.

 

Now when we order drinks in a pool bar,

They will not be “bad or foul quality,” no longer sub-par.

We can no longer break through the floors below or above

When we are in an elevator trying to reach someone we love.

Our elders can now correctly use their canes

And Murphy beds will now cause less pain.

And we can take pictures with our friends again.

And, speaking of specials beds, especially bunk beds,

We will no longer break through walls to get to the top of them.

 

The Watcher is good,

The Watcher is great,

The Watcher provides,

The Watcher keeps us safe.

 

Our roommates now have been blessed with reason

To get out of bed and work, no matter the season.

For those of us who excessively drive,

Our cars can now have names and relationships, far more alive.

Our butlers will no longer leave their job unethically

To walk outside and meet a celebrity.

And we can no longer skinny dip with mummies.

Our vampires once again have fang teeth

And Karaoke machines are less likely to be bequeathed.

 

The Watcher is good,

The Watcher is great,

The Watcher provides,

The Watcher keeps us safe.

 

The watcher is watching

As we commit each of our sins

The watcher is you,

And these are bug fixes for the Sims.