I write poetry a clown needs a business degree: badly. I rhyme in my poems like the wing flaps of a flea: constantly. But I like poems that rhyme because they’re […] Read More

As If You Know

You preach like you know, as if your hands are anywhere big enough to hold everything, to hold it all, because you think you should, your back against the wall. […] Read More

Aqua Hands

Does Aquaman worry about dry hands? Some people walk when it’s summer out, 70, 80 degrees, and their hands crack. You look down at them and oh– hello– suddenly a handful […] Read More


Who is throwing toilet paper on the ground like confetti? You realize that some people don’t even get to use this? You realize that an endless supply of one-ply is […] Read More


How many times can I watch this? I keep watching this over and over, but there is so much that I keep forgetting what happens. It’s almost like I watch […] Read More


You’re a crab. Look, I figured it out– you’re not drab but maybe a blue-backed, uncracked crab. You’ve got claws. You’ve got weapons at your disposal– but you think you […] Read More