{"id":563,"date":"2017-03-16T07:53:38","date_gmt":"2017-03-16T11:53:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/girlwriter.com\/?p=563"},"modified":"2019-02-19T15:17:34","modified_gmt":"2019-02-19T20:17:34","slug":"museum-misunderstandings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/?p=563","title":{"rendered":"Museum Misunderstandings"},"content":{"rendered":"

Standing in the Natural History museum, two people (Person A and Person B) are viewing different displays. Nearby, a large group of students are chattering, filling out papers for school, and pointing at different displays.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

A: Did you see that–<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Dinosaur? Yeah, there\u2019re a lot.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: They\u2019re a lot of what?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: A lot of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: I meant the whale.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Which wall?<\/span><\/p>\n

A: There\u2019s only one.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: How\u2019s that possible?<\/span><\/p>\n

A: It was born, I guess.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: The wall?<\/span><\/p>\n

A: Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: What?<\/span><\/p>\n

A: What? No Wall. Whale.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Yes, wall.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: The <\/span>whale<\/span><\/i>. Big. Ocean.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Ocean wall? What\u2019s that?<\/span><\/p>\n

A: WHALE. <\/span>Person A points upwards while staring at Person B.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

B: <\/span>Person B looks up. <\/span><\/i>Oh! Have you seen that–<\/span><\/p>\n

A: YES. <\/span>Person A puts their hand down.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

B: Whale. Not wall. I see.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: There are too many loud–<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Shush, they\u2019ll hear you! <\/span>Person B puts their finger on their lips and looks around at the group of children.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

A: Loud kids. Hah.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Don\u2019t bad-mouth them or else they\u2019ll attack. They have claws and vampire-teeth. They\u2019re like vampire-zombie hybrids\u2014 look, half of them are mindlessly on their cell phones! In a <\/span>MUSEUM<\/span><\/i>! Kids these days, they\u2019re terrifying and yet so adorable somehow, like a peacock spider. Wait, can you believe that? That one just dropped a Rolex watch and walked away! I bet it\u2019s a trap! IT\u2019S A TRAP! <\/span>Person B hides from the kids behind Person A.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

A: They\u2019re not <\/span>dangerous<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: They\u2019ll throw their vegan quinoa at us!<\/span><\/p>\n

A: There\u2019s no food allowed in here. And claws? Vampire teeth? Really? They won\u2019t <\/span>attack<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Fine. If you say so. <\/span>Person B walks out from behind Person A.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

A: I do say so.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: But did you see the wall?<\/span><\/p>\n

A: What about it?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: It\u2019s incredible.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: What\u2019s so nice about it?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: People drew on it.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: Threw what on it?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Drew?<\/span><\/p>\n

A: Threw?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Pictures.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: Threw pictures? What kind?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: People, mainly. Some animals.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: Priceless paintings of things?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Yeah, on walls.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: Are they broken?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: The walls?<\/span><\/p>\n

A: No, the pictures.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: What?<\/span><\/p>\n

A: What?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: They <\/span>drew<\/span><\/i> pictures. On walls.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: Drew?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Like <\/span>paint<\/span><\/i>. <\/span>Draw. Drew. Person B mimes painting.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

A: Oh, <\/span>drew<\/span><\/i>. Sounds like a–<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Nanny\u2019s nightmare. I know.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: Imagine cleaning up that mess.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: I don\u2019t want to.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: So what about the wall?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: They\u2019ve nice pictures on them.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: You like them?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Yeah. They\u2019re pretty.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: Pretty illegal.<\/span><\/p>\n

B: How?<\/span><\/p>\n

A: Is vandalism okay to you?<\/span><\/p>\n

B: If the pictures are nice.<\/span><\/p>\n

A: I\u2019m glad you\u2019re not–<\/span><\/p>\n

B: a police officer?<\/span><\/p>\n

A: Yeah. That would be a–<\/span><\/p>\n

B: Nightmare. I know.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Standing in the Natural History museum, two people (Person A and Person B) are viewing different displays. Nearby, a large group of students are chattering, filling out papers for school, and pointing at different displays. A: Did you see that– B: Dinosaur? Yeah, there\u2019re a lot. A: They\u2019re a lot of what? B: A lot […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":564,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/563"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=563"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/563\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":565,"href":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/563\/revisions\/565"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/564"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=563"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=563"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlwriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=563"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}