Unpopular opinion: I want to work at Buzzfeed. I want to write the articles you see, like: Trump thinks Puerto Rico Death Toll is a Conspiracy. The only 18 moments from the Emmys that you need to see. This is the Most Epic Scenic Road Trip You Can Take from New York To Toronto. The […]
I want to be someone’s companion. Because I’m choking, getting claustrophobic In this anaerobic, linear timeline. I want to be able to see everything all at once, So that I will never have to wonder If it’s a concern or thunder Or both. I want to have some kind of certainty In this branching tree […]
I’m in a limbo between what’s called “yesterday” and what’s called “tomorrow”. And I don’t know where I’d rather stay. Because yesterday, everything was great. But tomorrow I’ll probably end up borrowing some of my old friends to make new memories. This limbo I’m in, let me tell you: it’s both going downhill, and all […]
I have some concerns. Like why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? In my day to day I just get concerned with these things. Just think for a moment: What will life be like when we run out of youtube comments? And how many usernames can there be? At what point does […]
I write poetry like a clown needs a business degree: badly. I rhyme in my poems like the wing flaps of a flea: constantly. But I like poems that rhyme because they’re like dogs in bowties: classy. And while rhythm and rhyme is difficult for some, it’s infected me like radioactivity and Madame Curie, salt […]
Please take all the time you need but don’t take the clock. Keep your hands together, but not at twelve o’clock. They say what goes around comes around and that has never been more true than the skinniest hand on the face returning back to two.
You preach like you know, as if your hands are anywhere big enough to hold everything, to hold it all, because you think you should, your back against the wall. But it’s not all for you, you know. But even that, you don’t know and you preach like you do and you can’t understand what or why, […]
Does Aquaman worry about dry hands? Some people walk when it’s summer out, 70, 80 degrees, and their hands crack. You look down at them and oh– hello– suddenly a handful of tiny scars are all across you knuckles like a mouse went to town on them with a tiny sword. And some of them bleed! […]
If this happens again, think of right now. Think of how much we all care– for God’s sake– think of us. Think of the children. But only certain children, because as we have seen some children only want to be mean, manipulative, imitative, and you have to get creative to say: No. And who knew those […]
I have the right change: coincidence. I walk in at the right time: go-incidence. We both like Broadway: showincidence. I call at the right time: callincidence. I can tell if you’re cold: coldincidence. I guess I just knowincidence.
Who is throwing toilet paper on the ground like confetti? You realize that some people don’t even get to use this? You realize that an endless supply of one-ply is rare? Who is even putting these rolls in here? One time I’ll come in and there’s nothing in the stall then I come back and […]
I hear you in the round dome of a car cabin, in the silence of no radio, in the click of a turn signal. There isn’t a single symbol that can explain anything I want to say. English is psychiatry if you want it to be. And I do. I can break you down like […]