Museum Misunderstandings

Museum Misunderstandings

Standing in the Natural History museum, two people (Person A and Person B) are viewing different displays. Nearby, a large group of students are chattering, filling out papers for school, and pointing at different displays.

A: Did you see that–

B: Dinosaur? Yeah, there’re a lot.

A: They’re a lot of what?

B: A lot of them.

A: I meant the whale.

B: Which wall?

A: There’s only one.

B: How’s that possible?

A: It was born, I guess.

B: The wall?

A: Yeah.

B: What?

A: What? No Wall. Whale.

B: Yes, wall.

A: The whale. Big. Ocean.

B: Ocean wall? What’s that?

A: WHALE. Person A points upwards while staring at Person B.

B: Person B looks up. Oh! Have you seen that–

A: YES. Person A puts their hand down.

B: Whale. Not wall. I see.

A: There are too many loud–

B: Shush, they’ll hear you! Person B puts their finger on their lips and looks around at the group of children.

A: Loud kids. Hah.

B: Don’t bad-mouth them or else they’ll attack. They have claws and vampire-teeth. They’re like vampire-zombie hybrids— look, half of them are mindlessly on their cell phones! In a MUSEUM! Kids these days, they’re terrifying and yet so adorable somehow, like a peacock spider. Wait, can you believe that? That one just dropped a Rolex watch and walked away! I bet it’s a trap! IT’S A TRAP! Person B hides from the kids behind Person A.

A: They’re not dangerous.

B: They’ll throw their vegan quinoa at us!

A: There’s no food allowed in here. And claws? Vampire teeth? Really? They won’t attack.

B: Fine. If you say so. Person B walks out from behind Person A.

A: I do say so.

B: But did you see the wall?

A: What about it?

B: It’s incredible.

A: What’s so nice about it?

B: People drew on it.

A: Threw what on it?

B: Drew?

A: Threw?

B: Pictures.

A: Threw pictures? What kind?

B: People, mainly. Some animals.

A: Priceless paintings of things?

B: Yeah, on walls.

A: Are they broken?

B: The walls?

A: No, the pictures.

B: What?

A: What?

B: They drew pictures. On walls.

A: Drew?

B: Like paint. Draw. Drew. Person B mimes painting.

A: Oh, drew. Sounds like a–

B: Nanny’s nightmare. I know.

A: Imagine cleaning up that mess.

B: I don’t want to.

A: So what about the wall?

B: They’ve nice pictures on them.

A: You like them?

B: Yeah. They’re pretty.

A: Pretty illegal.

B: How?

A: Is vandalism okay to you?

B: If the pictures are nice.

A: I’m glad you’re not–

B: a police officer?

A: Yeah. That would be a–

B: Nightmare. I know.

Comments are closed.